Getting divorced can be difficult, and especially when you and your soon-to-be ex have children together. One of the greatest struggles that divorcing parents face is how they are going to tell their kids, which is why we have put together a few articles to help parents navigate through this process. Here’s our resources on how to tell your kids you are getting a divorce:
9 Things to Consider Before Telling Your Kids
Before you talk to your kids, you should read, “9 Things to Consider before Telling your Kids about the Divorce,” which can be found on huffingtonpost.com. This article stresses the importance of being sure that you and your co-parent are on the same page in regards to what you are going to tell your kids and how, when to tell your kids, and how to move forward after you have told them.
How to Talk to Your Kids
Once you and your soon-to-be ex have decided when and how to tell your kids about your divorce, the next step is to determine what you are going to tell your kids. On healthychildren.org, you will find the article, “How to Talk to Your Children about Divorce.” This is a great piece that discusses how to approach talking to children of all ages about divorce. Below are a few highlights from the article:
Parents of young children
- Maintain routines
- Provide consistency regarding rules and expectations
- Provide extra affection
- Assure your kids constantly that your divorce is not their fault
Parents of teens
- Be open about the divorce
- Have open and calm conversations with them
- Support any emotional reaction
- Keep expectations of your children high when it comes to their behavior, this is not an opportunity for them to act out and get away with it
- Be prepared to answer their questions about why you are getting divorced and how that may impact their lives
Keep the message clear and simple
- Don’t over complicated what is happening, yet do not simplify it either
- Try not to put the blame on one parent, maintain a neutral and untied front
Similar to the second article, parents.com has a piece called “Age-by-Age Guide to What Children Understand About Divorce.” Just as its name suggests, this article goes through and discusses what your children may know and understand about divorce from as early as birth to age eleven. This article can be helpful in determining how much you may need to actually explain to your children about divorce and what that means for them. This article also offers tips about how to make the transition as smooth as possible for each age group.
Counseling is Important
We always recommend counseling for both you and your children as a way to help during this difficult time. Our office works with many wonderful counselors and therapists in the Nashua area and would be more than happy to make a referral.
Getting divorced can be difficult, and even more so for your kids. If you are thinking about getting a divorce, we always recommend that you speak with and/or hire an Attorney to make sure that your best interests are protected and your goals are being met. We serve the Greater Nashua area and are here to help. If you are in need of a divorce and would like to meet with one of our experienced attorneys, call us today at (603) 943-5647.